Life has been happening. 2007 is proving to definitely be a year of dramatic changes. I have graduated, I found my career, Sigurd bought the store... Not two weeks from then, my uncle passed away the day after Father's Day, in August my grandfather on my father's side passed away, in September Sigurd's grandmother passed away, and this past Thursday, my Nana (my grandmother's mother) passed away.

I don't know if things had been put off enough to begin with, or somehow the back of my mind was being reminded of my own mortality and the need to examine and reprioritize, but needless to say: things finally culminated enough to a point that I needed to find a spot to be by myself to take time to think about everything, to sort myself out on things I wondered about but didn't think through, and things that I didn't really want to admit to, look at, or deal with. Friday night when Sigurd was out with the guys, I was restless and went out on my own and eventually brought myself to a neighborhood park where there were swings.

It was after dark, so of course there's some thoughts in the back of your mind about scary homeless people, loitering strangers, and officers coming up and interrupting you telling you to move along home since it's after sunset, but I decided I would at least scope out the area to see if the coast was clear and take my chances.

There wasn't anybody there. I pulled up my car to the far end of the parking lot where the swings were and I walked about 20 feet from my car to the farthest swing and took my spot. I started pumping my legs and soon enough I was swinging like a pendulum through the air.

I have always loved swings. I find them to be the most comforting thing, and they're the one place where I can think clearly. I needed to be somewhere where I could be alone, and not have any distraction.

I thought about a lot of things. It was a good self-discussion and examination, and I made myself be honest with myself, even if it didn't sound pretty or "good." I had a moment where I thought, "This was so great, I should put this on my blog!" but no... it was all for me, and no one else. I don't need to share it with others to have their opinion, their acceptance, their validation. If I wanted to remember what I had discovered, then I should physically write it down in one of my journals, just for me. So that's what I did when I got home. All you know is that I thought... ;)

When I got home, my mind was clear, I felt lighter, and more sure of myself, and when I went to bed, I slept long and deep and without dreams.

I guess you could say the swings are one of my Sacred Spaces...